Gifts

The word holiday has related but different meanings in English. It was originally a combination of the words holy and day. These days originally represented special religious days. The word holiday has changed to mean any special day of rest, not counting weekends.

The problem of course is that we don’t rest on the Holidays. We spend considerable time looking for gifts or preparing for vacation. Unfortunately, when we went to school they emphasized the Three “R’s”; namely Reading, Rwriting and ‘Rithmatic. All that training to be diligent and to work hard started us thinking that we should be busy working hard all the time. Now they know better and in schools they emphasize the Four “R’s”; namely Reading, ‘Rwriting’, ‘Rithmatic’ and my personal favorite ‘Recess’.

Educators now describes the ability to play as one of four signs of a child’s health and well-being, the other three are eating, sleeping, and toileting. At the same time parents, teachers, and health professionals report a steady decline in children’s ability to play. This appears to be the gift that we wee taught in school that we are passing along to our children. Psychologists say that 95% of children are creative. They also say that only 4% of adults are creative. Solving our day to day problems in a creative manner is absolutely critical in today’s high-tech, complex society. This is why time off is so important.

This is also where Holidays become essential. These special days recharge our batteries and let our minds roam freely to grasp solutions to the problems in our everyday lives. In the English-speaking world a holiday can actually mean a vacation or period spent away from home or business in travel or recreation. A holiday can also be a day set aside for celebration or a special day on which school and/or offices are closed, such as Labor Day. These holidays or ‘Days Off’ as we call them, are really important to our mental and physical wellbeing. The term ‘Playwork’ has been termed to describe the encouragement and risk assessment to give people on holidays the ability to play within the bounds of safety. This can include a relaxing walk in a park, a visit to a zoo, a museum, a musical event and other venues.

Sometimes just the gift of time off is all we need to rejuvenate or re-create ourselves. On other occasions we wish to not only re-create ourselves but entertain ourselves at the same time. On these special occasions, we want to participate in a celebration of the holiday. Some examples that come to mind would be Christmas and Easter. For some people who want more, they may make up a celebration of the holiday, (day off or not) like Halloween or summer solstice, or the start of vacation.

A favor or gift that you can give someone would be doing some ‘Playwork’ planning for them. You could suggest and plan a celebration or party in anticipation of an upcoming holiday. You may wish to make this an annual event so that the anticipation for your event can build from year to year.

Some examples might be : Queen Victoria Day, Labour Day, Thanksgiving Day, Remembrance Day, Martin Luther King Day, Valentine’s Day, Mardi Gras, Purim, St. Patrick’s Day, Easter, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Shavuot, Independence Day, Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Ramadan, Halloween, Los Dias de los Muertos” (Days of the Dead), Thanksgiving Day, Chanukah, Christmas, and finally Kwanzaa.

Just pick any one day and create a special event or celebration to occur on that day. Gifts could be exchanged and special foods could be prepared or purchased to add a new feature to your unique celebration.

Advent
All Saints’ Day
All Souls’ Day
Ascension Thursday (Ascension of Jesus into Heaven)
Ash Wednesday (beginning of Lent)
Assumption of Mary (Assumption of the Virgin Mary)

I may not watch every quarterback pass or care whether or not “so-in-so” got traded to the Knicks, but I am definitely a team player when it comes to giving gifts. Last year, my husband’s sports teams were doing exceptionally well, especially his favorite NFL team. Being a team player doesn’t mean I have to glue myself to the television set whenever his team takes to the field. It’s the little things I do that lets him know I am listening and care about his interests.

As the first blanket of snow covered the ground, we were well into the football season, which wasn’t my favorite time of the year. Not only do I despise the icy cold weather and snowstorms, but I also dread when Sunday afternoon and Monday night rolls around. My husband sits uninterrupted for about 3 hours in front of the television for something he waits the entire week for. Out of all the sports he watches, I find football the most difficult to get into. With basketball, at least you can anticipate a dunk or an almost-impossible shot from a character you have seen on a Sprite commercial. With football, you wait for a touchdown or a fumble from a player you rarely get to identify with except for the number on his back. It just doesn’t do it for me.

Week after week, I listened to how his favorite football team pulled through another game, until I eventually found myself watching all of the Playoffs. I must admit the energy and excitement of following a team playing for a chance to go to the championship was something quite unexpected. I was actually getting into the game, learning specific plays and scrutinizing the drag of the yardage chain. It was like watching a sports soap opera, complete with drama: the referees started cheating the team I was rooting for.

At the end of the game, through many emotional ups and downs I didn’t know I could feel for a football game, our team was victorious. That year, the Super Bowl was being held less than 2 hours away from where we lived. Tickets were near impossible to get a hold of. As we watched the news regarding parades and events surrounding the Super Bowl, my husband would not be able to attend. I wanted him to have something that would connect him to the game when he watched it on the big screen.

I knew I would be able to find something on the Internet, so I scanned the impressive list of football items on EBay until something caught my eye. The bright gold and black colors lassoed my attention, as I promptly purchased the Myron Cope’s Official Terrible Towel, a must-have for any Pittsburgh Steelers fan. On the day of the Super Bowl, I presented him with the gift. He was ecstatic. During the game, he safety-pinned it around his head (looking ridiculous), but I guess this is what diehard fans do. As I scanned the crowd at the game, I saw much worse.

That night, the Steelers became the champions of the 2005 football season, but that didn’t compare to the winning feeling I had from giving my husband a piece of the game to remember.

You always hear the stories of receiving gifts that were quite sweet in gesture, but really don’t fit into your lifestyle or tastes. This ranges from the Christmas tree sweater that glows in the dark to the poofy pink taffeta dress you might have worn when you were 7, but not at the age of 27. With every gift, you can always find something worthy to dwell on, even if it is a bit of humor wrapped with a bow.

My father often jokes with me about my affection towards a gift that comes from the Dollar Store. I must admit you can find various quirky additions to any holiday at this inexpensive chain of stores. When money was tight, it was this store that provided the decorations for my entire house and Christmas tree without giving a hint to the amount of money spent. It’s truly amazing what you will find at the Dollar Store, from cleaning supplies to candles to inexpensive alternatives for movie theater treats. Anyhow, for about five years running, my father would question where some of his gifts came from, making references to one of the cheapest places around promising the purchase of almost anything.

This has been a long running joke within my immediate family because I have a history of creating decorative, Dollar Store-themed baskets for the holidays. One year, for my brother, I stuffed his basket with anything to do with his cell phone. He was always losing his adapter to charge his phone, so I bought him two of them. I also included a set of earphones for the car, an extra cell phone case, even an extra battery. All of these items cost a dollar; all of which were used.

As for my father, he has received Dollar Store baskets pertaining to some of the items he often uses. One year, the theme was garden tools. He found delight in telling me how quickly the stem cutters broke when he went to trim a rose bush. The next year, he received a basket filled with cleaning and maintenance supplies for the car. You can never have too much oil, carburetor fluid or car wash supplies. The year after that, I packed a basket full of various tools, such as wrenches, screwdrivers and pliers. I don’t feel bad about these gifts because I know they will eventually get used. For my mother, a basket filled with scented lotions and soaps has brought a smile to her face. I really lucked out when a supply of Oil of Olay eye creams found their way to the Dollar Store.

I have always taken pride in never failing to give a gift on special occasions. It didn’t matter if I had to make a present with my own two hands, but I made sure my loved ones would be opening someone from me on their special day. Over the years, my budget has improved to the point where I no longer have to depend on the Dollar Store for the bulk of my gifts. What started as a way to cope with dreary financial circumstances has now become a welcomed family tradition.

Living peacefully with relatives may seem like a daunting task for most. There are ways to assure family harmony without compromising your personal happiness and sanity.

Treating all relatives equally is the key to keeping the peace. No one but you should know who your favorites in the family are. To illustrate equal love amongst all try these tactics:

1. Send the same holiday cards to all relatives. Use the same salutations and messages for each individual.
2. If giving a photo, make sure to give the same photo setting and photo size to all.
3. Sending a birthday card to one relative and not another will only leave hurt feelings and ruffled feathers. Be committed to acknowledging all family birthdays or none.
4. Send a regular “newsletter.” Make the letter uniform and make sure everyone gets a copy. There is no need to give extremely personal information. A brief update on career, kids, health, etc. will eliminate gossip and reduce phone calls from curious relatives.
5. Set up one day to gather with everyone, to avoid surprise visitations. Make sure all in the family are invited. Plan a specific time for the event to allow for travel and avoid straggling relatives who don’t know when to leave. If overnight stays are unavoidable, make prior arrangements for relatives to stay at a local motel and not your home.
6. Keep a record of your family gifting. Make sure the same dollar amount is given for each wedding, graduation, and holiday gift. Gift certificates are a great way to assure uniform giving.

Equal treatment of all relatives is a simple organized way to keep the peace in a family. Remember to think of yourself first. Your health, happiness, privacy and time are always the priority. Use caution not to sacrifice these things to please another family member. Not everyone will be happy with the way you organize your life, but no one in the family will be able to say they were treated differently or unfairly by you.

Some of my favorite memories of my childhood are ones I was too young to remember. What I mean is, they are stories my parents have told over and over again, at my request, and on occasions when I would have preferred they not be shared. Tales of diaper-free runs through the neighborhood and my refusal to call my brother by name are quasi memories I hold dear to my heart.

When I was eight years old, after a usual story-telling session on my parents’ bed, I went to my own bedroom and began to write. I was a young poet, and I loved to capture memories and ideas with words. It didn’t take me long before I had penned my masterpiece: an ode, if you will, to babies.

I gave the poem to my mom and watched as her eyes began to glisten, and the tears began to fall. I hadn’t realized the impact my words would have on her. My dad read the poem as well, and while his eyes remained dry, I did see a hint of shimmer in them. From that day forward, they showed the poem to everyone who happened by the house. My mom even had a calligrapher professionally craft the poem, and she hung the mauve frame over her bedside table.

Years went by, and I forgot all about the poem. My parents redecorated their bedroom long after I moved out, and the poem never made it back up on the wall, I guess. It wasn’t something that even drifted back to memory once in a while. I had completely forgotten all about it.

When I was eight months pregnant with my daughter, my friends and family hosted the perfect baby shower for me and my soon-to-be little girl. My mom was in her glory, as this was her first grandbaby, and she went completely overboard in the gift department. She announced the last gift, and I was almost thrilled to know it was coming to an end. I was too exhausted to pay attention to the quiver in her lip and the gleam in her eye as she handed me a beautifully wrapped box.

As soon as I lifted the lid I saw a glimpse of familiar mauve. It didn’t even take me a split second to guess what was inside. Like my father I am usually not one for tears, even in pregnancy, but for this, the floodgates opened. In front of unknowing guests, I pulled out of the box the gift I had given my mother as a child.

I didn’t even need to read it; I still had the poem memorized after 22 years. I memorized that moment as well, because it will one day be a story I will share with my own daughter when she asks about the poem that hangs on her bedroom wall.

I don’t think there is anyone out there young, or old, who doesn’t love teddy bears! Real bears are one of the fiercest creatures in nature, but we’ve all become very attached to the fluffy, cuddly stuffed versions of the real thing. Have you ever wondered where the name “teddy” came from?

The whole thing started a little over a hundred years ago on a hunting trip gone wrong. Theodore Roosevelt had a passion for hunting and for hunting bears in particular. On November 13, 1902, the President’s hunting party set out led by legendary guide Holt Collier. Roosevelt was determined to win the one trophy that had eluded him, the Louisiana Black Bear.

Since he was the President of the United States, Roosevelt’s guide among other members of the party wanted him to have a successful hunt.

Collier, wanting to save the President needless hard riding, sent him on ahead based on his feelings as to where the bear would come out of the woods. After several hours of waiting, Roosevelt gave up and headed back to the camp for lunch.

While the President was back at the camp enjoying his lunch, the bear did indeed exit in the exact area where he was previously waiting. Collier and his dogs eventually backed the bear into a bayou. Before they could reach the President, the bear attacked one of Collier’s dogs. Collier could not shoot without risking hitting his beloved dog, so he bludgeoned the bear in the head with his rifle.

While the bear was semi-conscious, Collier tied him with a rope to a nearby tree. The President was then alerted by three rifle shots that they had cornered a bear for him to shoot. When he arrived he was greatly disappointed by what he saw. The onlookers cheered him on, “Shoot the bear! Shoot it Mr. President!”, but Roosevelt refused. He had been criticized in the past for his love of hunting and with three reporters present he did not want to bring further criticism upon himself.

The newspapers were wild for the story and at first tried to paint Roosevelt in a poor light saying he was unprepared and praising Collier for his heroic efforts. But the public took it a different way. Political cartoonists depicted the bear as a cute cub, causing even more public support of the President for his unwillingness to shoot the captured bear.

Soon everyone was talking about Teddy and the bear. And that was the beginning of the now famous Teddy Bear. Who would have imagined that such a sweet and lovable toy came from such a violent beginning? They were there to shoot bears to begin with? Remember?

Children are priceless, and so is the way that they think, my own children are no exception. When giving gifts my children always provide the best and most memorable gifts. Gifts that make me laugh and cry, but most of all gifts that help me to remember how cute they were, and how much they have grown up over the years.

One time I recall my children bought me a gift, it was a beautiful mothers day card, which they had bought down at the shop all by themselves. The card was beautiful and filled my heart with pride, at the thought that they had gone out all by themselves without any prompting and had very sneakily hid the card from me. Then they had taken it to their bedroom and written in the card all by them selves with green marker pen, and presented me with this beautiful card.

What made things far more entertaining, was neither of them could read very well. The card was not really a mother’s day card, but a Valentines Day card. When the joy of receiving such a beautiful gift had worn off, I wondered how they had come to acquire the money for the card. I had not given them the money nor had their father, and I knew they had no money themselves. They were only too happy to tell me where they had found their little treasure trove of coins to fund their recent expedition.

My children took me by the hand and showed me where they had found ‘lots of money’ and smiled up at me looking for approval. They had found my hidden coin purse full of rare coins, some of which were very valuable. It was these coins they had chosen to take to the shops and buy a very important mother’s day gift.

I closed my eyes and tried not to be bothered by loosing one possession and gaining something that was worth more than a room full of precious coins, I managed to stay calm but it was a little difficult at first! It did take a while to accept. Possessions are just something that you have, but in the larger scheme of things are never really worth anything. After a few years I would most probably have sold those coins to buy my children gifts at Christmas, with very little regard to what the coins meant to me.

This is because the love and adoration of a child is worth far more than anything else. I have since framed that mother’s day card. I look at it every so often to remind me how lucky that I am to have such special children, who put others before themselves. Special children who are able to still to this day melt my heart with just a single smile.

My Nanna is one of the most unique women that I have ever met, she was an orphan brought out on a train from Scotland during the war. During those times there was panic and desperation surrounding many families. My Nanna was a small child and her family, put her on a train to Australia where she would be safe. She never met her real parents again, and was adopted by an older couple that loved and cherished her. She was brought up as an only child and always longed for a brother or a sister for a companion.

She has never dwelled on what could have been or who her real parents may have been. She accepts the fact that the people who adopted her are her real parents, even though they may not be related biologically. My Nanna had five children, and as they grew up they had an amazing twenty-four children between them. Over the years her children have had another thirty-four children, and some of their children have also had children. As you can imagine when we all get together there are enough people to fill a stadium.

Every year for my whole life we have had an amazing tradition, we call it Nanna’s party. It is usually held at a park, or large area and everyone who is related comes from near and far to get together. Australia is a vast place, and some of us drove for up to ten hours to attend. My Nanna used to give each of us a small gift. She would call out each of our names, and we would go up where she was seated and receive our gift. Our family grew so large she could no longer afford a gift for everyone, so she only gave gifts to the children, or her great, great grandchildren.

The gifts weren’t the reason many of us traveled so many miles to be a part of this tradition, it was the opportunity to meet with our family and relatives. To add to the fun we would all dress up to a theme. One year we had to go as fruit, another year we had to dress up like they did in the 1950’s and 1960’s and perform mimed songs on stage.

Now that I am a lot older I realize that Nanna was a very smart woman, through her insistence of having these parties she was keeping us all together. She was in fact giving us the opportunity to have the family closeness that was taken from her as a child. It cannot be said that anyone in our family of over two hundred, does not know whom they’re related to.

Our Nanna gave us a lot more than small gifts and dress up parties, she gave us a strong family unit that has stood the test of time for over four generations. That is a truly valuable gift.

Receiving a gift is one of the most gratifying feelings in the world; the delight felt is not directly from receiving an object, or thing of value. A gift is far more important than that, as you are in fact receiving something else, something far more precious than any material possession. Love - it cannot be bought, stolen or demanded but is something that is given freely from the heart to those we adore most…

I have been fortunate to receive many gifts in my life, the one’s that stay in my mind and in my heart are those of least monetary value, and very simple in nature. The reason for this is because the person who gave them to me was thinking of me, how I was feeling at that time and chose to give a gift that was from their heart.

My most prized gift was after the birth of my third child, who was a surprise arrival. All of my life since I was a child I had dreamt of having a beautiful little girl. As a child I was very lonely and longed for the company of a sister to play with, sadly for me my mother could not conceive any more children after me; I was alone a lot of the time. So I decided when I grew up I would have a little girl of my own…

Many years later I met my husband and a year or so later we had our first child, he was a beautiful bouncing baby boy, with golden hair and a smile that lit up the world, I adored him and lavished all of my affections upon him, yet he wasn’t the beautiful baby girl that I had hoped for.

Several years later I fell pregnant again, this time I hoped that I would have my beautiful baby girl and then my family would be complete, instead I had another bouncing baby boy, I loved and adored him too, although I did wish for a girl. After having two children we decided that we had enough children and I gave up all hopes of ever having a daughter.

Than one day I found out that I was ‘unexpectedly’ expecting! Even though I had been very careful and had not been planning for this to happen, I was sure that this would be my little girl. Quite a few months later I was holding my darling little girl, my miracle little girl, and on that day I was given a gift that was worth more to me than any expensive gift, and it come in the form of a simple little card hand made by my mother, in that card my mother told me that “if you want something bad enough, if you pray for it long enough - then sometimes miracles do happen!”

Isn’t life funny, a small piece of paper with some hand written words means more to me than any trinket ever could, the moral of my story is that gifts- real gifts come from the heart not from the hip pocket.

I was discussing gifts with my husband earlier on, and he was telling me when he was a child his grandmother would give them clothing for Christmas every year. Worst of all it was the same clothing every time. A knitted jumper always the same color (gray), a pair of socks and a pair of jocks. Not just any jocks, but grandpa’s jocks. Every year for as long as he could remember this was what he received.

That really got me thinking. Actually it really bugged me. It wasn’t just the thought of gray jumpers and grandpa’s jocks either! The thing that really annoyed me is the fact that children expect, and deserve something useful to them. Although clothing is useful when you are an adult, and a hand knitted jumper, made from the heart is a treasured possession from your grandmother. Because when you are an adult you see things through a different light. Gifts such as these are not considered to be useful when you are under 10.

I now know why my husband always insists on getting our children toys and things that they can play with. If you consider for a moment that children are not living in the same world as us- yet, for a few fleeting years they have been blessed with an amazing gift, the gift of freedom and imagination. They have one brief encounter of the way life was really intended to be. No stress, no bills to pay and no one else they must consider before themselves. Never again will they have the chance to think and experience life on this level.

It is so fleeting that if we as adults don’t help them enjoy it to the fullest it will damage their personality and tarnish their views on life as they grow. I believe in letting children be just that, children, for as long as they can be. Consider the world that we live in, that is soon to be a child’s reality. These are a very sad state of affairs, and why not postpone it for as long as we can.

Far too many parents impress on their children that they should “grow up” or ‘be’ more mature. Through the generations this is becoming a trend. Look at photo’s of when your parents were children, at two years old your parents were still considered babies, they acted and were dressed appropriately. They were still considered babies until they went to school. An adult was considered to be 21 years of age, not 18.

It is beyond me why we are in such a hurry to ‘grow’ our children and send them off into the adult world, before they have ever had the chance to be children. Giving gifts are no exception to this rule. When choosing a gift for a child, get them something they can play with, something that will entertain them, clothes aren’t appropriate gifts when you are a child, if you must give a child clothing, make sure that something entertaining is added to the gift.