This entry was posted on Friday, February 15th, 2008 at 10:29 pm and is filed under Relationships. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
Being pregnant and having a baby, it’s easy to get caught up in the annoying habits of mothers and mothers-in-law. They always offer unsolicited advice, and their reminiscing feels more like not-so-subtle hints as to how to parent properly. They call all day everyday and worry about every little thing. It’s enough to drive a new mom mad!
Mad, that is, until the new mother finds time to sit back, relax, watch, listen and learn.
Grandmothers are amazing. It doesn’t matter if it’s mom or mom-in-law. When a new mother finally retracts her claws and takes a breath, all she will see are the two most loving and caring people she could ever hope to have in her child’s life.
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It was only a few weeks ago when I had this epiphany. I was as guilty as any other new mother at being a “swooper.” Anytime my daughter cried in Grandmom’s arms, I swooped in and took her up in mine. Any time Grandma wanted to lay her down to occupy herself, I swooped in and sat her on my own lap. I knew perfectly well what I was doing, and I knew it was not in accord with what the Mothers were trying to do. But, it was my baby and my way - until I got tired enough to back down.
My parents came to visit last weekend, and no sooner were they in the door than Grandmom had grandbaby in hand. It was a long week of parenting, cooking and cleaning for me, so I was thankful for the reprieve. When baby pooped, I let Grandmom climb the stairs and clean her up. When baby cried, it was Grandmom who wiped the tears. I didn’t even feed my daughter that afternoon. I had a bottle on hand and warmed it for Grandmom. I was in heaven.
Not only did I get a chance to breath and hug my husband every other minute, I had the pleasure of watching my mom enjoy herself. She was getting to do exactly what she had dreamed of doing, probably since the moment we announced our pregnancy. In being a “swooper,” I knew I was being irrational, but I didn’t realize I was robbing my mom of the joys of grandparenting. I spent the rest of the weekend playing second fiddle to Grandmom and loving every second of it. I haven’t had the chance to make up to my mother-in-law for my swooping errors, but her time is coming. She will be in town next week, and I can’t wait. I can’t wait for the chance to watch her in action for a whole week. A whole week! I won’t know what to do with myself! I just may have to do a little shopping and buy a couple of ‘thank you’ presents… for the grandmothers.
