Gifts

Living peacefully with relatives may seem like a daunting task for most. There are ways to assure family harmony without compromising your personal happiness and sanity.

Treating all relatives equally is the key to keeping the peace. No one but you should know who your favorites in the family are. To illustrate equal love amongst all try these tactics:

1. Send the same holiday cards to all relatives. Use the same salutations and messages for each individual.
2. If giving a photo, make sure to give the same photo setting and photo size to all.
3. Sending a birthday card to one relative and not another will only leave hurt feelings and ruffled feathers. Be committed to acknowledging all family birthdays or none.
4. Send a regular “newsletter.” Make the letter uniform and make sure everyone gets a copy. There is no need to give extremely personal information. A brief update on career, kids, health, etc. will eliminate gossip and reduce phone calls from curious relatives.
5. Set up one day to gather with everyone, to avoid surprise visitations. Make sure all in the family are invited. Plan a specific time for the event to allow for travel and avoid straggling relatives who don’t know when to leave. If overnight stays are unavoidable, make prior arrangements for relatives to stay at a local motel and not your home.
6. Keep a record of your family gifting. Make sure the same dollar amount is given for each wedding, graduation, and holiday gift. Gift certificates are a great way to assure uniform giving.

Equal treatment of all relatives is a simple organized way to keep the peace in a family. Remember to think of yourself first. Your health, happiness, privacy and time are always the priority. Use caution not to sacrifice these things to please another family member. Not everyone will be happy with the way you organize your life, but no one in the family will be able to say they were treated differently or unfairly by you.

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